Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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