we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
