You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
