a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
dude. I can hear the air.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
