So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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