If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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