remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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