so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
