she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
