also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
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He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
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Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize