OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
