you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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