you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
