Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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