it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
