who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
