mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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