i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
