We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
