Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
