I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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