There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
