in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize