And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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