I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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