Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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