I want to have your abortion
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Randomize
