Apparently you make a good broom.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
