no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
