After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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