I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize