I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize