why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
