There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
