So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
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You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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