just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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