You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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