There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
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I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
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Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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