I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
