Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
