Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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