Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's blow job season.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
