im six kinds of drunk right now
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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