It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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