can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize