We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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