well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
