You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
