At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Randomize
