: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
