remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
