My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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