It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
