Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
