I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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