I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The Olympian is in my bed
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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