Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
