i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
